What is Courtship Actually?

WHAT IS COURTSHIP?
By Christy Shipe

You've heard a lot about it, but what exactly is it? Many of you have written in with this same question, wondering about courtship and how it is different from dating.

Courtship means different things to different people. According to the dictionary, courtship is "the wooing of one person by another; the period during which such wooing takes place." Simply put, courtship is the process of winning another person's romantic love.

Courtship begins by expressing a romantic interest in another person. Then you form a relationship with each other, and as your courtship progresses, you fall in love. If all goes well, the courtship ends in a happy marriage.

The same could be said of dating. You express romantic interest, form a relationship, fall in love, and get married.

The main difference between courtship and dating is that courtship always means that you are in some form of a serious relationship. But dating can mean something far more casual. For example, just because you go out on a date with someone doesn't mean you're serious about them or even like them that much. Maybe you just decided to go out on one date for fun or to see what happens.

So, while courtship always means a serious relationship, dating can mean either a serious or a casual relationship.

In the last several years, the term "courtship" has become more and more popular among Christian circles to describe various methods of engaging in a serious romantic relationship. For some Christians, courtship means an approach to marriage that is almost the same thing as an arranged marriage. Your parents pick your future mate and there is hardly any one-on-one contact before marriage. For others, it means the same thing as a serious dating relationship. You decide to court someone when you are thinking about perhaps marrying that person.

Still others use the term "courtship" to describe a set of biblical principles that Christians should follow in their approach to romance. These principles usually include: 1) Seeking and receiving the approval of parents before entering into a romantic relationship; 2) Waiting to start a serious relationship until you are at the age where you could consider getting married; 3) Entering into the relationship with the purpose of pursuing the idea of marriage, not just going out for fun with no serious intentions; and 4) Setting high standards for physical purity.

I think that the four principles listed above are important for every Christian to follow. Whether you want to call it courtship or dating doesn't matter. The principles are what's important.