Those Secret Signals
Hehe got this from Ravindi..
From the Mirror Magazine of Sunday Times SL ^_^
Well, this is just an article and I am only posting it..
Those secret signals
By Tracey Cox
Statistics differ but most experts say it takes us between 90 seconds and four minutes to decide if we fancy someone - and as much as we'd like to think it all rests on that witty one-liner, it doesn't.
55% of the message we get from someone comes through our body language, 38% is from the tone, speed and inflection of our voice and a pathetic 7% is from what we're actually saying!
This doesn't mean you can get away with droning on about your passion for snails and collection of Mongolian one-winged butterflies forever (content is crucial later) but it does mean you need to get the body language right straight away or they won't bother to stick around to find out how fascinating you are.
If you're not feeling horribly self-conscious by now, you should be. To make you completely paranoid, here's another frightening thought: before you've even spoken to the person you've got your eye on, the way you've walked and stood is more than 80% of their first impression of you!
We make what seems like outrageous snap judgements about people but the fact is, almost every facet of our personality is evident from our appearance, posture and the way we move.
So, how do we tell if our body is sending the right signals - and (more importantly) how to read theirs? Let your body do the talking (and the flirting) by learning to recognise...
The 5 Secret Signals that someone is flirting with you
1. The flirting triangle
When we look at people we're not close to (in a business situation for instance), our eyes make a zig-zag motion: we look from eye to eye and across the bridge of the nose.
With friends, the look drops below eye level and moves into a triangle shape: we look from eye to eye but also look down to include the nose and mouth.
Once we start flirting, the triangle gets even bigger - it widens at the bottom to include their good bits (like the body). The more intense the flirting, the more intensely we'll look from one eye to eye - and the more time we'll spend looking at their mouth.
If someone is watching your mouth while you're talking to them, you can't help but think I wonder if they're imagining what it would be like to kiss me. Which is usually exactly what they are thinking, if they're looking intently at your mouth!
2. Mirroring
This is what separates a good flirt from a great flirt: nothing will bond you more instantly or effectively than mirroring someone's behaviour. This simply means you do whatever it is they do. If they lean forward to tell you something intimate, you lean in to meet them. If they sit back to take a sip of their drink and look you in the eye, you take a sip of your drink and do the same. They sit with their chin cupped in their hands, so do you.
The theory behind mirroring is that we like people who are like us. If someone is doing what we're doing, we feel they're on the same level as us and in the same mood as we are. Two no-no's with this one though: first up, only mirror positive body language; secondly, capture the spirit rather than imitating them like a chimpanzee at the zoo. As a general rule, wait around 50 seconds before following their gestures.)
3. The eyebrow flash
When we first see someone we're attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. If they fancy us back, they raise their eyebrows in return. Never noticed? It's not surprising since the whole thing lasts about a fifth of a second! We're not consciously aware of doing it, but it's a gesture that is duplicated by every culture on earth. In fact, some experts claim it's the most instantly recognised non-verbal sign of friendly greeting in the world.
The trick is to watch for it when you meet someone new you fancy. Even better, tell them you're interested on a subconscious level by extending your eyebrow flash for up to one second - deliberately raise them while catching their eye for full impact.
4. Pointing
Sneak a peek at what their feet and hands are doing - we tend to point toward the person we're interested in. If we find someone attractive, we'll often point at them subconsciously with our hands, arms, feet, legs, toes.
Again, it's an unconscious indicator to make our intentions known. Unconsciously, this is often picked up by the other person, without them really knowing why.
So if you've got your eye on the hunk/hunkette in the corner, point your body in their direction - even if you don't make eye contact, they'll get the hint you're interested.
5. Blinking
If someone likes what they see, their pupil size increases and so does their blink rate. If you want to up the odds in your favour, try increasing the blink rate of the person you're talking to, by blinking more yourself. If the person likes you, they'll unconsciously try to match your blink rate to keep in sync with you, which in turn, makes you both feel more attracted to each other!
Now, one final word before you go rushing off to practise all this. Before you go, you must understand...
The golden rule of body language
Don't ever judge on one thing alone. Sitting with your arms crossed often means you're protecting yourself emotionally and shutting out the other person. But it might also mean you're freezing cold, you're having a fat day or just spilt coffee all over your top!
Don't jump to conclusions, instead look for clusters of behaviour.
If someone has their arms crossed and they're frowning and leaning backward to create as much space between you as possible and their lips are pursed disapprovingly, it's a fairly safe bet they are on the defensive.
From the Mirror Magazine of Sunday Times SL ^_^
Well, this is just an article and I am only posting it..
Those secret signals
By Tracey Cox
Statistics differ but most experts say it takes us between 90 seconds and four minutes to decide if we fancy someone - and as much as we'd like to think it all rests on that witty one-liner, it doesn't.
55% of the message we get from someone comes through our body language, 38% is from the tone, speed and inflection of our voice and a pathetic 7% is from what we're actually saying!
This doesn't mean you can get away with droning on about your passion for snails and collection of Mongolian one-winged butterflies forever (content is crucial later) but it does mean you need to get the body language right straight away or they won't bother to stick around to find out how fascinating you are.
If you're not feeling horribly self-conscious by now, you should be. To make you completely paranoid, here's another frightening thought: before you've even spoken to the person you've got your eye on, the way you've walked and stood is more than 80% of their first impression of you!
We make what seems like outrageous snap judgements about people but the fact is, almost every facet of our personality is evident from our appearance, posture and the way we move.
So, how do we tell if our body is sending the right signals - and (more importantly) how to read theirs? Let your body do the talking (and the flirting) by learning to recognise...
The 5 Secret Signals that someone is flirting with you
1. The flirting triangle
When we look at people we're not close to (in a business situation for instance), our eyes make a zig-zag motion: we look from eye to eye and across the bridge of the nose.
With friends, the look drops below eye level and moves into a triangle shape: we look from eye to eye but also look down to include the nose and mouth.
Once we start flirting, the triangle gets even bigger - it widens at the bottom to include their good bits (like the body). The more intense the flirting, the more intensely we'll look from one eye to eye - and the more time we'll spend looking at their mouth.
If someone is watching your mouth while you're talking to them, you can't help but think I wonder if they're imagining what it would be like to kiss me. Which is usually exactly what they are thinking, if they're looking intently at your mouth!
2. Mirroring
This is what separates a good flirt from a great flirt: nothing will bond you more instantly or effectively than mirroring someone's behaviour. This simply means you do whatever it is they do. If they lean forward to tell you something intimate, you lean in to meet them. If they sit back to take a sip of their drink and look you in the eye, you take a sip of your drink and do the same. They sit with their chin cupped in their hands, so do you.
The theory behind mirroring is that we like people who are like us. If someone is doing what we're doing, we feel they're on the same level as us and in the same mood as we are. Two no-no's with this one though: first up, only mirror positive body language; secondly, capture the spirit rather than imitating them like a chimpanzee at the zoo. As a general rule, wait around 50 seconds before following their gestures.)
3. The eyebrow flash
When we first see someone we're attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. If they fancy us back, they raise their eyebrows in return. Never noticed? It's not surprising since the whole thing lasts about a fifth of a second! We're not consciously aware of doing it, but it's a gesture that is duplicated by every culture on earth. In fact, some experts claim it's the most instantly recognised non-verbal sign of friendly greeting in the world.
The trick is to watch for it when you meet someone new you fancy. Even better, tell them you're interested on a subconscious level by extending your eyebrow flash for up to one second - deliberately raise them while catching their eye for full impact.
4. Pointing
Sneak a peek at what their feet and hands are doing - we tend to point toward the person we're interested in. If we find someone attractive, we'll often point at them subconsciously with our hands, arms, feet, legs, toes.
Again, it's an unconscious indicator to make our intentions known. Unconsciously, this is often picked up by the other person, without them really knowing why.
So if you've got your eye on the hunk/hunkette in the corner, point your body in their direction - even if you don't make eye contact, they'll get the hint you're interested.
5. Blinking
If someone likes what they see, their pupil size increases and so does their blink rate. If you want to up the odds in your favour, try increasing the blink rate of the person you're talking to, by blinking more yourself. If the person likes you, they'll unconsciously try to match your blink rate to keep in sync with you, which in turn, makes you both feel more attracted to each other!
Now, one final word before you go rushing off to practise all this. Before you go, you must understand...
The golden rule of body language
Don't ever judge on one thing alone. Sitting with your arms crossed often means you're protecting yourself emotionally and shutting out the other person. But it might also mean you're freezing cold, you're having a fat day or just spilt coffee all over your top!
Don't jump to conclusions, instead look for clusters of behaviour.
If someone has their arms crossed and they're frowning and leaning backward to create as much space between you as possible and their lips are pursed disapprovingly, it's a fairly safe bet they are on the defensive.
posted by Agustina Sadikin at
4:45 PM
3 Comments:
sama kan tin 55, 38, 7% ama yg gua bilang ke elu waktu itu? hehehe...
gua ud pernah baca yg intinya mirip seh ama yg elu post ini tin, and ud put them into practise :D
By
Hendrik Christian, at 10:14 AM
hohohoo put into practice ? ^_^
By
Agustina Sadikin, at 10:59 AM
jelas donk... apa gunanya tau doank tapi ga di-put into practice, hehehe...
By
Hendrik Christian, at 2:42 PM
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